Really? Arrests? For smoking pot at a party? Seriously?
Somebody please tell these South Carolina police that they're nice people. Pat them on the back, take their picture with the mayor, hell, throw a kitten in a tree for them to rescue and then get some people to applaud them for it. Because clearly they're bored or publicity-starved or something. They're investigating the infamous party where serial-gold-medalist Michael Phelps was photographed perpetrating the most dastardly of crimes: taking a hit from a bong! (After concluding their investigation of possible marijuana use at a college-age party, these police will likely get to the bottom of whether alcohol is consumed at bars.) The cops are arresting people involved to build a case against Phelps like he's some kingpin on the phone with Columbia between races.
Hey! We have this incredible athlete that inspired us by reaching unimaginable heights. Let's ruin his life! Because we have to think about the children. Because what if they see him giggling and eating fistfuls of cake? We won't be able to stop them from buying black light posters. And we all know how ugly those are.
Instead of this incident suggesting that society itself is crumbling and we have no one to look up to, maybe it says this: you can be highly functional, even the highliest functional, and still occasionally enjoy functioning high. Maybe, and I know this sounds crazy, but maybe smoking pot isn't so bad an offense as to warrant destroying this guy. We still revere stars like Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle, and they took years off their careers and lives with that dangerous drug that we love so much, alcohol. Watch a baseball game today and count how many beer commercials you see. But since pot is the drug we've arbitrarily decided is tearing apart our moral fabric, Phelps has to go from national hero to green-lunged monster.
But not all is lost for poor Michael. Maybe they won't put him on the next Wheaties box, but I bet he's high in the running for the Cheetos bag.
2 comments:
I'm not against smoking pot, and I don't think we need to waste our time sending people to jail for it. However, it's against the law, bottom line.
Also, helloooo YOU'RE MICHAEL FUCKING PHELPS, one of the most recognizable faces in THE WORLD right now, and for whatever reason you think it's just "okay" to go and smoke a bong at a party with a bunch of people you probably don't even know that well. Of course someone is going to take a picture! YOU HAVE 8 GOLD MEDALS. Go in another room or something.
Ha, all very true. Clearly he's not taking a principled stand against an unjust law. What he did wasn't too bright.
But damn, an investigation? That's likely to find what, exactly? That he was passed a bong that was (probably) not his, with pot in it that (probably) wasn't his, and he took a hit?
Yeah, it's against the law. And you can't just blatantly break the law, no matter how dumb it is. But how much money are those taxpayers going to spend on handing Phelps the most minor of minor possession charges? I pray those cops have something better to do.
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