Hot Water

That's it, I've had it. Something is definitely up with Russia and I intend to find out what it is.

First, there was the whole North Pole debacle, in which Putin claimed that the Arctic Ocean lay within Russia's economic zone, thus in his mind, could still count as potential acquired territory. Hell, he even went as far as to send ships there. I think no man put it better than Canadian Foreign Minister, Peter McKay, when he said, "This isn’t the 15th century. You can’t go around the world and just plant flags and say, ‘We’re claiming this territory’."

As absurd as that sounds, there is more. Oh there is more. Russia then, for no good reason at all began "regular, long-range patrols by nuclear cable bombers over the world's oceans, resuming the practice after a 15 year hiatus in another sign of Russia's growing assertiveness." I'm sure by "assertiveness," the New York Times was trying to convey, in the nicest way possible, that Russia was beginning plans to take over the fucking world again. Look at the headline! "Recalling Cold War..." Already, that projects something negative to the reader. No one looks at the Cold War as a good time; it was a god damn war! Except for those damn structural realists (I'm talking to you, Waltz and your modestly named book, Theory of International Politics), we all think of the Cold War as a time of instability, panic and fear. A time when Russia consistently played the bad guy in movies. A time in which Superman actually had to get involved and kick some communist ass.

Does it sound to anyone else like we should be concerned? Claiming territories, sending bombers, drinking vodka, skinning cats...this could potentially lead to somewhere dangerous.

Then, I read an article which pushed me over the edge. It was so intense that I was compelled to immediately to stop reading, open up this blog, and start posting this rant. After all this, Russia is now going back to fix its hot water pipes!?!?!? Not on my watch. Everyone knows that when countries start tending to their plumbing, wars start. After all, Stalin's reign began by installing these pipes throughout the Soviet Union.

The good news is that the lack of hot water coming in to residencies in Moscow and St. Petersburg is actually having the effect of producing some atrocious poetry. Take this beautiful number from the aformentioned Times article:

"They’ve turned off all the hot water,
my liquid of love, my stream of words.
I should complain to the people,
but a scarf’s been thrown over my mouth.
Like this, without moisture of life,
I’ll dry out, along with the unwashed dishes,
I’ll gather moss, a stone unturned,
or perhaps be forgotten, lost in the grass." - Tatyana Shcherbina

What the hell? That doesn't even rhyme.

Anyway, we had better start paying attention to the subtle goings-on of our pals to the East. Before we know it, they might have hot water and know how to use it.